Why You Should Keep Quiet About Infertility ?

Why you should keep quiet about infertility ? 

Of course, I kept quiet about it. Are you nuts ? You want me to scream about my infertility on facebook, twitter, tumblr and so on.

If you think that I am nuts, try going to pinterest or tumblr and search or key in the word "infertility" and see what comes out.

What you'll see will shock you if this is your first time doing so. You'll find tons of "screaming tittle" related to "I am infertile, fighting it and writing out loud about it" . You got a problem with that ? I don't have but some people might.

Some people will tell you that this is a private issue to deal with and they choose to keep quiet about it. Nothing wrong with that. But ... the question remains as "Will you choose to remain infertile forever or would you want to get out of this infertility circle ? "

I was once "inside " the circle and also wished to be quiet by choice. But trust me ... this type of silence is not a pleasant silence feeling that you might want to have.

Unless ... unless what ? Unless you REALLY hate having kids of your own and you love living just together with your spouse or partner. Then the quest for fertility will temporary stops here.

Why temporary ? Well, the human needs and wants never stop as long as the earth is still spinning.

For the past 15 years I have seen and talk to people who are suffering from infertility. I can relate to them easily as I was in the same boat together with my wife too.

Why Some Chose to Keep Quiet ?

1. Denial

Who wants to be "labeled" as infertile ? Please raise your hands . Huh, I don't see any show of hands. Maybe some half way rises but hiding behind chairs. It's ok. I don't want to raise my hands too even the doctor put a "chop" on my forehead saying that I'm infertile.

We are homo sapiens after all. We have feelings and with that comes ego, pride , image, status and so on. "Putting up our hands" will be like "Shooting our own heads with our own gun".

Of course, people will say, "I'm not infertile ... it's just the timing isn't right yet". Very smooth and pleasant to our ears and others too. It's a "Win Win" . They are not telling lies. Their heart felt good when they said this soothing words instead of the other way round.

2. Even If I Tell You, So What ?

Even if I tell you the route that we took, you might not follow what we did.

"Why should I ? I am different from you. The time is not here yet. It will come one day".

You and your wife are infertile not us. We are still young and "fertile". That's some of the feedbacks that we heard along the way.

There was once someone who called me, recommended by a friend saying that he wanted to know about how we got conceived successfully with twins. So, I spoke to him over the phone and shared with him our short story of how we got here today. 

I gave him some recommended places and doctor that we seek treatment from. And guess what , nothing happened even few years later.

3. The Price to Pay

Everything has got it's price tag. Especially we are talking about creating human lives. It's not cheap. Myself in fact took a very big round and came back to the same doctor.

Why ? At first I thought it's very expensive to seek treatment at the first hospital that we consulted until we asked the rest. Unless you are filthy rich, don't be shocked when the doctor proposed IVF and then tell you it's whole cost of doing it. 

I nearly fell off my chair when I was told of the overall cost. But again, I chose to be quiet because I thought I can opt for a cheaper treatment elsewhere. I ended up spending more after going for a big round of "Doctors Shopping".

When someone has created the path for you, just follow it. What's wrong with doing that ? There's no need to be a "Hero" in this infertility path. There' s no trophy for it. Pay it straight to the point even it may look expensive in the beginning but it'll always be cheaper than you pay for your own mistakes trying here and there.

4. Too Stress to Talk About It

Come on ... who doesn't have stress nowadays ? Is the type of stress that you are having now a good stress or bad stress ? Good stress are stress that keeps you going when the going gets tough. Bad stress are the one that weighs you down. The one that makes you worry and your head spinning none stop throughout day and night.

In fact stress is one of the top "Enemy" of infertility.

Since most people already have their plates full with work and relationship stress , who wants to talk more about infertility stress ? The answer ... just keep quiet about it. Maybe it will go away if they are lucky.Go away in a sense of one might be getting a "jackpot" pregnancy without seeking any treatment at all.

How Stress Affect Your Fertility ?

First of all stress lower a person's libido. With that how can you feel "sexually fit" for your fertility journey marathon ? Some journey may take longer than you expected. You need to stay fit and healthy in all angles.

For women, if you are stress most of the time ... your ovulation might be suppressed and that is not something that you want it to happen if you are trying to conceive.

If you and your partner have ran through a complete infertility test and found nothing abnormal, then this "Unexplained Infertility" issue might have something to do with your stress level.

Change Your Perception

If you ever feel that you have maxed out your emotional stress level in your daily life then it's time to change your perception by changing the way you react to things that are happening around you.

Read books like "Unsung Lullabies" which are well written by specialists in the field of Reproductive Psychology who have each experienced their own struggle with infertility or "Silent Sorority: A Baren Woman Gets Busy,Angry,Lost and Found", watch a movie or take a walk in the park.

Don't underestimate the power of this simple gestures that you can do it by yourself. If you love yourself and your future unborn babies why not change for the better? It's worth it. You don't have to trust me but you'll get to experience it with your kids one day once you are successfully conceived and have kids of your own.

  

Imagine that, the moment they call you Mummy or Daddy, it will melt your heart even you are a strong person inside out.

So why you should keep quiet about infertility when there's so much help around that you can seek or ask about ? Unless that's your own personal choice to remain infertile which I believe you wouldn't want that.

As long as you are "Wide Awake" searching through your journey, there is still hope for it. Help or guidance will come to you in every angle that you can't even imagine of when you are ready looking for it.

P.S. Do something, do anything that can makes you one step closer towards becoming a Mummy or Daddy one day. One more step is to check out this book "Overcoming Infertility with EFT"...an ancient secret technique that will move you closer towards your dream of becoming pregnant.

"One day it's going to be your turn"

Disclaimer : The article written above is of writer's own opinion and for informative purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your pediatrician or family doctor.